Choice Theory is a nontraditional explanation of human behavior developed by Dr. William Glasser in 1965. Choice Theory focuses on increasing the quality of our relationships and decreasing the use of external control. One of the main ways to do this? Implement the belief that the only person's behavior we can control is our own!

Choice Theory states:
  • all we do is behave,
  • almost all behavior is chosen, and
  • we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.

Choice theory stresses the Seven Caring Habits which, when practiced, move people closer together. External control psychology is the idea that we can control other's feelings by what we say or do, or even control their behavior. This is often exhibited by the Seven Deadly Habits. The more the deadly habits are used, the further apart we grow from each other and the less satisfaction we find in life.  Being disconnected and having frustrated needs are the main sources of almost all conditions that are recognized as mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, and abuse.
Seven Caring Habits
Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating Differences
Seven Deadly Habits
Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Rewarding/Bribing to Control
SO...if these habits are so "deadly" why would anyone do them? Because they work to some degree! Unfortunately they usually only drive a person to behave to avoid a consequence or actually cause the person doing them more frustration. These habits can be done in many different ways....saying, "You never take out the garbage. Our relationship would be better if you'd work harder. If you go out tonight I'm going to feel so abandoned." Likewise with engaging in the deadly habits, it is easy to perceive that we actually are controlled by someone's threats or nagging. However, we don't HAVE to react in anger, frustration, silent treatment, or resentment. We can choose how to react to the behaviors of another person any way we want. It's only information!



The Ten Beliefs of Choice Theory

  1. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
  2. All we can give another person is information.
  3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
  4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
  5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
  6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
  7. All we do is behave.
  8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
  9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
  10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.




More Resources:

www.wglasser.com
www.wglasserbooks.com
www.choicetheory.com
www.realitytherapycentral.com
Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom by M.D. Glasser William (Jan 6, 1999)
Take Charge of Your Life: How to Get What You Need with Choice-Theory Psychology by William Glasser (Mar 19, 2013)
Counseling with Choice Theory by M.D. Glasser William (May 15, 2001)
A Choice Theory Approach to Drug and Alcohol Abuse by Michael Rice LISAC and Lynn K. Busby (Sep 17, 2009)